Scary Stories To Tell Whilst On The Bus
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: 4 tales of suspense, gore, killers and black people gone wild


It was the end of the school day, the students were on the bus ready to go home.

The bus was being driven by Mr Venezuela, the school janitor.

Butters: So, did anyone see the trailer for The Shining sequel?

Kenny: Yeah. It looks awesome.

Kyle: I heard it wasn't gonna rely on jump scares.

Token: Thank God. I was quiet getting board of the predictable scares that were coming.

Cartman: What's the matter with jump scares? They make the movie scarier.

Kyle: No they make the movie dumb.

Cartman: How was IT a success Khal? Because it relayed on jump scares.

Kyle: But that makes the movie dumber. The fascination with jump scares.

Cartman: It doesn't make it dumb Khal! You don't understand the true meaning of jump scares because you're Jewish and stupid!

Kyle: It does and stop berating my religion Cartman!

Cartman: Whatever I'll rip on you for being Jewish all I want!

Kyle: Why do you get away with this?

Cartman: Does anyone else think horror movies suck nowadays?

Everyone: Yeah!

Kyle: Here you go again!

Cartman: What? It worked the first time.

Token: What did?

Kyle: Last time Cartman asked that question me, him, Stan and Kenny took it in turns to tell a scary story and his story was just an excuse to rip on me for being Jewish.

**A/N: Read Scary Stories To Tell Whilst Camping.**

Cartman: I was being creative Khal.

Token: Although taking it in turns to tell a scary story doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'm up for it.

Butters: So am I.

Kyle: I'm not.

Kyle sat back down.

Wendy: I'm in as well.

Cartman started laughing.

Wendy: Something funny Cartman?

Cartman: A girl trying to tell a scary story.

Cartman continued laughing.

Wendy: Shut up Cartman!

Cartman: Here's the thing Windy, women can't be scary. Horror movies try that nowadays and they always make them wear ridiculous dresses and makeup that they think will make them scary.

Wendy: Shut up! Stan help...Oh that's right, farm.

Wendy sighed.

Cartman: So sorry Windy, but I'm afraid you can't tell a scary story.

Wendy: I'll bet you 5 dollars that I can.

Cartman: You're on bitch. Go ahead. Wow me.

**Miserable (Story 1).**

_Cartman residence._

_Cartman was writing on his typewriter whilst on his phone._

_Cartman: Butters. I've don't it. I've finished my sequel to Woodland Critter Christmas and I've killed off The Boy With Red Poof Ball Hat as a bonus._

_Butters: Are you sure about this Eric? People are gonna be awfully sore about it._

_Cartman: Well I wanna be a serious writer Butters and also you do realise that The Boy In The Red Poof Ball Hat is based off Stan?_

_Butters: No I didn't._

_Cartman: So, the second reason is I hate Stan._

_Butters: Oh. Will you make me a character in your stories?_

_Cartman: Let me think...No._

_Butters: Aww!_

_Cartman: Now don't call again Butters I'm almost finished._

_Butters: But you called me._

_Cartman: And you answered._

_Butters: Good point._

_Butters hangs up._

_Cartman pulled the page from his typewriter._

_Cartman: Ha Ha Ha!_

_Liane enters his room._

_Liane: Sweetie, you've missed the bus._

_Cartman: What?!_

_Cartman grabbed the pile of pages and placed them in his bag._

_Later._

_Cartman was riding his bike through a bad snowstorm._

_Cartman: I still can't believe I missed the bus._

_Cartman suddenly noticed something familiar from a distance._

_Cartman: AAAAHHHH! Mr Kitty!_

_Cartman reared off the road and didn't realise where he was heading; he was heading off the cliff._

_Cartman screamed and crash landed at the bottom._

_Cartman was unconscious and had a bunch of scratches on his face._

_Later._

_Cartman was slowly waking up to a voice._

_Voice: I'm your number 1 fan. You're gonna be ok. You're safe now._

_And that voice belonged to Annie Knits._

_Cartman: Annie?!_

Annie: Wait a minute why did I save Cartman?

Wendy: I was originally planning Heidi-

Heidi: Hey!

Wendy: But I decided it to be you, because you actually liked Woodland Critter Christmas.

Annie: Alright, I do. Just continue with the story Wendy.

_Annie: I'm your number one fan._

_Cartman: Annie?! Why did you save me?_

_Annie: Because you were bringing the sequel to Woodland Critter Christmas to school today, but you didn't show up. When I went to my thinking spot I found you unconscious and nursed you back to health._

Annie: I would've let him die.

Wendy: Shut up!

_Cartman: Well that's nice of you Annie but I have to-Why can't I move?_

_Annie: I forgot to mention your legs are broken._

_Cartman: What the fuck?!_

_Annie: Yeah._

_Cartman: Did you call my Mom about it?_

_Annie: The phone-lines are dead and the roads are really dangerous, so you'll be staying with me for a while._

_Cartman: Oh great. I'm staying in a girls house._

_Annie: Hey don't complain. You're in the guest room._

_Later._

_Cartman was on the bed; legs still broken, watching TV._

_News reporter: And the whole country realised that them complaining about Joker was completely unnecessary._

_Annie entered the room._

_Annie: Eric, I couldn't help but go through your bag and I noticed the manuscript to your sequel and I was asking if I could read it?_

_Cartman: Ok Annie._

_Annie started to read the book_

_Annie: It was an Easter Sunday morning and The Boy In The Red Poof Ball Hat was fucking his girlfriend, The Girl In The Pink Beret._

Wendy: Goddamnit Cartman!

Cartman: What?

Wendy: You're changing the story.

Cartman: I was predicting what you were gonna say Windy!

Wendy: Shut up and let me finish my story!

Cartman: Fine.

Wendy: Where was I?

_Annie: It was an Easter Sunday morning and The Boy In The Red Poof Ball Hat was in the forest out for a stroll. Oh I'm loving it so far Eric._

_Cartman: Yes you are. Anyway, I'm kind of tired. Could you leave me to get some sleep?_

_Annie: Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you were tired. I'll leave you to it._

_Annie left the room to read the manuscript alone._

_Cartman closed his eyes until the door closed._

_Cartman (Whispering): Now I can be left alone._

_Later._

_Cartman was sleeping until the door opened quite violently._

_Cartman woke up._

_Cartman: Annie?_

_Annie: I know what you did you dirty fat bird._

_Cartman: What?_

_Annie: You killed The Boy In The Red Poof Ball Hat! He can't be dead! He can't be!_

_Cartman: Why are you yelling at me? Are you on your period?_

_Annie: You killed my BOY! You killed him! You son of a bitch!_

_Annie drops the manuscript on Cartman's legs._

_Cartman screamed._

_Annie: It's only a few pages don't complain._

_Cartman: I know! I expected the pain to be much worse._

_Annie: Well it wasn't! I will kill you!_

_Cartman starts begging._

_Cartman: Please Annie don't do this. I'll do anything! I'll do anything!_

_Annie: You will!?_

_Cartman: Yes I will!_

_Later._

_Annie places a typewriter in front of a desk._

_Cartman was in a wheelchair._

_Annie: You will write a different sequel to Woodland Critter Christmas!_

_Cartman: Why did you take this long to tell me? You could've told me last night._

_Annie: Dramatic effect._

_Cartman: Oh! I won't rewrite the sequel. I worked my ass off with that book._

_Annie: Oh really? Well this may come off as a shock, I burnt it._

_Cartman: You what?!_

_Annie: Oops._

_Cartman: You bitch!_

_Annie: Don't call me that!_

_Cartman: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!_

_Annie throws a mug at Cartman's head._

_Cartman: Ow! You fucking bi-Um, lovely girl._

_Annie: Now I have rules. 1: Don't insult me. 2: If I don't like the book, you will have to start again._

_Cartman: What?!_

_Annie: It's either that or getting your legs sawed off._

_Cartman: Oh fuck!_

_Annie: That's better! Now work, while I sleep._

_Annie left the room._

_Cartman stared at the typewriter and typed "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"._

_Cartman tore the paper from the typewriter and threw it into the trash can._

_Days later._

_Broflovski residence._

_Kyle was watching the news._

_News reporter: And Joaquin replied "I'm glad those morons realised it was a movie"._

_Kyle's phone started ringing._

_Kyle answered it._

_Kyle: Hello?_

_Stan was on the other line._

_Stan: Hey dude have you heard from Cartman?_

_Kyle: Why would I?_

_Stan: Good point. I haven't heard anything from him for two days. Not an insult about Wendy or you for that matter._

_Kyle: Really?_

_Stan: Apparently his Mom has put up missing posters all out the town._

_Kyle: He'll pop up at some point trust me._

_Knits residence._

_Cartman was still writing on his typewriter._

_Annie walked in the room with the pages._

_Annie: No! No! No! No! No! This won't do!_

_Cartman: What?_

_Annie: The Boy With The Red Poof Ball Hat can't trust this guy because of some coincidence._

_Cartman: So what?_

_Annie: How do I explain this? You remember Batman V. Superman?_

_Cartman: Yeah._

_Annie: Well Batman hates Superman because he thinks he destroyed Metropolis and killed some guy he knew. And he has this huge murder boner for him and he spends the entire movie (If you cut out the politics and Jesse Eisenberg) trying to find a way to kill him. When they eventually fight, it looks like Batman was gonna kill him; but he didn't because it turns out that Superman and Batman's Mom both share the same name. People were all like "Meh" and "Huh?". But I stood up in the theatre and yelled "No! No! You can't become besties just because your Mom's have the same name! You're still enemies! It doesn't make any cockadoodie sense!" Start over!_

_Annie throws the manuscript in the trash._

_Cartman: Fine bitch! You'll have to go out into town and buy me some more paper, I'm all out._

_Annie: All right fine!_

_Annie goes out of the house to buy some more paper._

_Annie locks the door._

_Cartman: Good thing she dropped her hair clip._

_Cartman wheeled himself to the door and used the hair clip to unlock the door._

_Cartman looked around and notices a sleeping cat._

_He looks at the cat's bowl and realises it says "Boy With Red Poof Ball Hat"._

_Cartman: What a dumb name._

_Cartman wheels himself to a room._

_He opens the door and sees the room has pictures of art._

_On the desks and tables there were little ceramic figures._

_Cartman wheels himself to a red photo album._

_On the way there he accidentally knocks over a little ceramic penguin and catches it; than Cartman accidentally knocks over a ceramic lion and catches it in his other hand; then Cartman accidentally knocks over a ceramic dog and catches it in the hand that had the ceramic penguin._

_Cartman: Phew._

_Cartman places the ceramic figures back on the table._

_Cartman wheels himself to the table that had the red photo album._

_Cartman opens the page and realises they're pages from newspapers._

_One the headlines read "Missing 4th grade boy" and the picture was Daniel Tanner. Cartman turned the page and the next headline read "Gender war at South Park elementary" and the picture was Daniel with a Wiener's Out banner._

_Cartman turned the page and the next headline read "4th grade girl questioned over disappearance of 4th grade boy" and the picture was Annie. Cartman turned the page and the next headline read "Bill Maher says "The World Didn't Care About Stan Lee"._

_Cartman: Asshole._

_Cartman turned the page and the next headline read "87% of people agree that newspaper headlines do build up suspense"._

_Cartman grabbed a kitchen knife that was on a table and placed it in his pocket._

_Suddenly Cartman hears a bike screeching; Annie had arrived home._

_Cartman: Oh fuck!_

_Cartman quickly wheeled himself out of the room and shut the door; Cartman wheeled himself to the room he was writing in and shut the door. But Cartman realised he forgot to lock the door. Cartman quickly wheeled himself to the door._

_Outside Annie was close to unlocking the front door._

_Cartman quickly used the hair clip to lock the door and wheeled himself back into the position he was in before._

_Annie unlocked the door and entered the room._

_Annie: There you are._

_Annie places the paper on the desk._

_Annie: Cartman, are you sweating?_

_Cartman: No!_

_Annie: Wait a minute I know what you did._

_Cartman: Uh oh._

_Annie: I should've known you were no good son of a bitch. A disgusting person like you would obviously do this._

_Cartman was shaking._

_Cartman: What are you saying?_

_Annie: What am I saying?! What am I saying?!_

_Cartman gulped._

_Annie: You...were...jacking off!_

_Cartman: Uh...yeah I was._

_Annie: You fucking disgusting human being!_

_Annie leaves the room and slams the door._

_Cartman: I don't even know how to jack off._

_Meanwhile._

_Police station._

_Liane: I don't know it's been three days since I last saw my Eric. He was late for his bus and he took his bike._

_Yates: What an idiot._

_Liane: Don't you call my poopsikins an idiot!_

_Yates: Ok! Ok! I won't. Don't you worry I have someone who is an expert in finding children like your little Eric._

_Cut to BarBrady._

_BarBrady: Yes I wish to return this DVD I bought from this very boutique. I watched Hellboy and it is the worst film I've ever seen in my life._

_Guy at the counter: You do realise this is a Burger King?_

_BarBrady: I know that stupid._

_Guy at the counter: Than why are you returning a movie at a fast food restaurant?_

_BarBrady: Uh._

_BarBrady's walkie talkie started to make a sound._

_Yates: Yates to BarBrady. Yates to BarBrady. Do you read me? Over._

_BarBrady: BarBrady to Yates I do read you. Over._

_Yates: I have an assignment for you. Over._

_BarBrady: What is it? Over._

_Yates: I am sending you to look for a missing 4th grader named Eric Cartman._

_BarBrady: I'll be on it as soon as I finished returning this DVD. Over._

_Yates: What movie is it?_

_BarBrady: Hellboy. Over._

_Yates: You don't have to say "over" every time BarBrady._

_BarBrady: I know. But it's fun to say. Over._

_Yates sighed._

_The next day._

_Knits residence._

_Cartman woke up and looked at the front of the bed and saw Annie looking really pissed._

_Annie: I know you've been out of your room._

_Cartman: No I haven't. I only..._

_Cartman was reaching for the knife that was hiding underneath his mattress._

_Annie pulled the knife out of her pocket._

_Annie: Looking for something?_

_Cartman: I don't know how that got there I swear._

_Annie: I know you've been in my study._

_Cartman: What?_

_Annie: Eric, my ceramic penguin always faces due south, my ceramic lion didn't have a broken mane and my ceramic dog didn't smell of cheesy poofs._

_Cartman sniffed his hands._

_Annie: At first I didn't know how you got out. But last night..._

_Annie pulled the hair clip from her pocket._

_Annie: I found your key._

_Cartman was stunned and pretended to be confused._

_Annie: It looks like you're gonna need some more time to get adjusted here. Trust me if you escape, you'll realise you still need me._

_Cartman: I won't, you bitch._

_Annie: Your legs are still healing Eric._

_Annie places a block of wood in between his ankles._

_Cartman: What are you doing?_

_Annie: Trust me._

_Annie went for the sledgehammer. Annie tried to pick it up but realised she couldn't._

_Annie: Damn this thing is heavy._

_Cartman: Well looks like you can't break my legs bitch._

_Annie: I got a saw._

_Cartman: Uh oh._

_Annie walked over to his bed._

_Cartman: Annie, please._

_Annie: Hold on Eric. It's for the best._

_Cartman: No please! Please don't!_

_Annie started sawing his leg and Cartman started screaming._

_The next day._

_BarBrady was driving in his car._

_BarBrady drove past the Knits house._

_BarBrady: I haven't tried that location yet._

_BarBrady parked up beside the Knits house._

_When he got out of the car, he walked to the Burger King instead._

_Knits residence._

_Cartman was typing on the typewriter._

_Annie walked into the room and grabbed the wheelchair._

_Cartman: What are you doing?_

_Annie wheeled him to the basement door._

_Cartman: Annie!_

_Annie lifted the wheelchair and Cartman fell down the stairs and into the basement._

_Cartman: You bitch!_

_Annie grabbed a syringe from her pocket and injected it into Cartman._

_Cartman: You...fucking..._

_Cartman fell asleep._

_Outside the house, BarBrady was knocking at the door._

_Annie opened the door._

_Annie: Officer BarBrady, what can I do for you?_

_BarBrady: Hi there little girl. I'm just doing an investigation on Eric Cartman's disappearance._

_Annie: Oh. Why don't you come in?_

_BarBrady: Thank you._

_Annie: Have a look round, my cat's missing. I feel like he's somewhere in the house._

_BarBrady: Ok._

_BarBrady entered the writing room and notices a type writer and sees a bloody mattress._

_BarBrady: Who spills sauce on a perfectly good mattress? Honestly._

_BarBrady entered the study room and notices the ceramic dog on the table._

_BarBrady picks up the ceramic dog and sniffs it._

_BarBrady: Oh my God! It smells of...nacho cheese._

_BarBrady exits the study and goes to the basement._

_BarBrady unlocks the door and notices the unconscious Cartman and a cat beside him._

_BarBrady: Oh there's the cat._

_Suddenly BarBrady was shot in the back._

_BarBrady collapsed._

_Annie stood a few feet away from where BarBrady was standing with a shotgun in her hand._

_Annie: Oh there's my cat._

_Later._

_Cartman was in the writing room typing on the typewriter._

_Cartman: There, finished._

_Annie: Good._

_Annie grabs the manuscript._

_Cartman: I'm glad you're here Annie._

_Annie: I know. So I can make you realise that there was no need to kill The Boy In The Red Poof Ball Hat. And you can become a better person._

_Cartman: No. It is so I can do this._

_Cartman grabs the typewriter and hits Annie on the head with it._

_Annie collapsed._

_Cartman: Yeah bitch!_

_Cartman wheels himself out of the room._

_Cartman opens the front door and realised that the police are in front of him._

_Yates: It's Eric Cartman. Hold your guns boys._

_Cartman: About fucking time! What were you doing? Getting high on Tegridy?_

_Yates: Um...We were actually._

Wendy: The end.

Cartman started laughing.

Cartman: That wasn't scary Windy.

Token: I sure was scared.

Butters: I found it boring.

Wendy: Can anyone do better?

Cartman: I-

Butters: Me next! Me next!

**Butters (Story 2).**

_Butters was walking in downtown South Park._

_Butters (Narrating): South Park, it's the town I was born and live in. It's a nice mountain town. But there are some no gooders in town. And I'm already doing something about it._

_Stotch residence._

_A mosquito was on Butters' arm sucking his blood until Butters swatted it._

_Butters: There's the morning mosquito._

_Butters goes to brush his teeth._

_A tooth falls out of Butters' mouth and blood lands in the sink._

_Butters uses a napkin to clean the wound and hides the tooth under his pillow._

_Butters goes downstairs for breakfast._

_Butters cooks the bacon and fries his eggs and places them onto a plate._

_Butters eats his breakfast._

_Butters makes himself some coffee for his parents._

_Butters goes upstairs to use some dental floss._

_Butters puts on his shoes._

_Finally, Butters puts on his shirt and does a sinister grin._

_Stephen: Butters! Have you been using my dental floss?_

_Butters: Uh oh._

_Stephen: Uh oh indeed mister, you are grounded._

_Butters: Aww hamburgers._

_South Park elementary._

_Butters was in the bathroom washing his hands._

_Butters (Narrating): I know what you're probably thinking, "what am I talking about?" Well you see, I realised that there are some people in my school and around South Park who have committed crimes. And you think I've just killed somebody in the bathroom? No, I just crushed a rat which does technically count as killing somebody or something. I have a special place for it._

_Craig: Dude._

_Butters: Hey Craig._

_Craig: Dude we haven't seen you in class._

_Butters: Aww geez really?_

_Craig: Yeah. Have you been spending time in this bathroom washing your hands because you killed something and you're nervous about the consequences of your actions?_

_Butters: Um...no._

_An abandoned warehouse._

_Butters was dressed in a hazmat suit._

_Butters (Narrating): Like I said, I have a special place to commit my killings. I rented this warehouse for only three dollars and it was quite worth it. I have only killed four people, but today will be my fifth._

_Butters starts to read a list._

_Butters: Indecent exposure, filing a fake police report and property damage. I gotta say you have an interesting criminal history._

_The person he was talking to was Clyde, who was stripped of all of his clothing and was strapped to an operating table._

_Clyde: Dude why did you strip me of my clothing?_

_Butters: I don't know. I sat through all 96 episodes of Dexter and I was kind of inspired by it._

_Clyde: That's gay and-Wait Dexter?! What's that?_

_Butters: A show on Showtime._

_Clyde: But seriously though, why have you strapped me to an operating table?_

_Butters suddenly sliced Clyde's neck with a knife and blood started oozing._

_Butters: So I can do this._

_Clyde lied in shock as he saw what Butters had become._

_The next day._

_South Park elementary._

_The students were chatting in the hallway._

_Kyle: Dude, have you heard about Clyde._

_Stan: I know dude it's pretty gruesome._

_Butters: What's pretty gruesome?_

_Stan: Butters, Clyde's dead._

_Butters (Narrating): Ok. Pause here. You're probably thinking "I've committed 5 murders, how do I make myself not look like a murderer?" Well I act confused and shocked when someone asks if I heard the news._

_Butters: He's dead?!_

_Stan: Yeah. Apparently the killer sliced his neck open and stuffed his wiener into his mouth._

_Butters: Aww geez that is horrible fellas._

_Butters (Narrating): I should probably mention the first four people I slaughtered. It was the goth kids. I just killed them and than pulled their eyeballs out and left candles in them._

_Kyle: I heard his funeral was tomorrow._

_Stan: I'm definitely gonna be there. How about you Butters?_

_Butters: I'm kind of busy that day fellas._

_Kyle: Doing what?_

_Butters: Helping the elderly._

_Stan: Ok. But be careful with my Grandpa. He gets a little cranky._

_Butters: Ok Stan._

_South Park retirement home._

_Marvin was in his room looking outside the window._

_Jimbo and Ned entered._

_Jimbo: Hey Marvin. Me and Ned just wanted to visit you._

_Marvin didn't say a word._

_Jimbo: Marvin, are you sleeping?_

_Ned: Mmm he seems hypnotised by the outside._

_Jimbo: Well there's nothing interesting._

_Jimbo turns Marvin's chair around._

_Marvin had his eyes closed._

_Jimbo tapped Marvin on the face._

_Marvin woke up._

_Jimbo screamed._

_Marvin: Damnit I was sleeping._

_Jimbo: Jesus you scared me._

_Marvin: I know. Now hand me my pills._

_Ned: Oh yeah. It's medicine time._

_Jimbo takes two pills out of the bottle._

_Marvin: You had to come here didn't you?_

_Jimbo: Well you are my step-Dad._

_Marvin: Quite right._

_Jimbo hands Marvin his pills._

_Marvin puts the pills in his mouth and drinks some water to wash them down._

_Jimbo: Have you heard that people have lost respect of Tegridy Farms?_

_Marvin: I knew that was bound to happen. Howard once started a lemonade stand at 12, but it got shut down when they discovered the lemons of the lemonade were stolen._

_Jimbo: It's Randy and yes it was-_

_Marvin started to cough wildly._

_Jimbo: You ok Marvin?_

_Marvin's mouth started to foam._

_Ned: Mmm what's happening?_

_Marvin continued coughing as Jimbo and Ned did nothing but looked on._

_Marvin continued coughing until he finally collapsed._

_Jimbo: Marv? Marv?_

_Ned: Mmm he finally got his wish._

_South Park elementary._

_Stan was at his locker getting some stuff._

_Kyle, Wendy, Heidi and Butters approached him._

_Kyle: Hey dude, sorry that your grandpa died._

_Stan sighed._

_Stan: It's alright guys really._

_Wendy: We just came here to tell you we're here for you._

_Stan: Thanks guys. But my grandpa wanted to die anyway_

_Butters (Narrating): You're probably thinking, what did I do to Marvin? I just replaced his regular pills with rat poison when I volunteered to help the elderly._

_3 days later._

_Announcer: This Is Channel 5 news with Tom Pusslicker._

_Tom: Good morning. Our top story, 5 more people have fallen at the hands of the new serial killer who the public have dubbed "Mexican Joker". This serial killer kills his or her victims in gruesome and disturbing ways. The recent victims are owners of Jimbo's Guns, Jimbo Kern and Ned Gerblanski and 4th graders Nathan and Red and PC Principal have all fallen at the hands of this killer. Strangely enough these victims have done some evil things according to the killer's notes. Some people have compared these killings to the TV show Dexter._

_South Park elementary._

_The gymnasium._

_The students were at an assembly._

_Mr Mackey was hosting the assembly._

_Mr Mackey: Now students. I know you're all shocked about PC Principal's death and some other students. But the best we can do is remember all the great memories they have given us mmkay._

_Cartman: I can only name one from PC Principal._

_Butters (Narrating): I'm pretty sure you know why I killed PC Principal and Nathan and Jimbo and Ned. But why Red you ask me? Well because she slapped Jimmy that one time and that counts as a crime against the disabled._

_Mr Mackey: And now a 3 minute silence for the students and PC Principal mmkay._

_The students stayed silent._

_Heidi sat down thinking and suddenly came to a realisation._

_Suddenly a fart sound was heard._

_Cartman: Sorry._

_Stan: Cartman! You stupid son of a bitch!_

_The girls dinner table._

_Isla places two dinner trays._

_Wendy: Isla, you got Red's lunch again._

_Isla: Oh. I'll just throw it a-_

_Cartman: Yoink._

_Cartman took the lunch tray that belonged to Red and started to walk away with it._

_Theresa: Jackass!_

_Cartman: Bitch!_

_Isla started crying._

_Bebe patted Isla on the back._

_Nichole: I know you miss her Isla, but she is with us. Metaphorically._

_Isla continued crying._

_Nelly: When I find out who killed Red, I am gonna kill him or her!_

_Heidi: Nelly I hate to tell you this but I think I know who's doing all the killings._

_The girlls all turn their attention to Heidi._

_Bebe: Tell us._

_Heidi: It was Butters._

_Nelly: What?!_

_Heidi: I mean isn't it obvious?_

_Wendy: Heidi, I doubt it was actually him. He's too friendly to be a serial killer. Why do you think he's the serial killer?_

_Heidi: Because he and Clyde were hanging out at Starks Pond on the day he was murdered and than the next day he was found dead and stripped. Than he said he was volunteering to help the elderly and than Marvin died after being poisoned with rat poison and than PC Principal wanted Butters for something and than PC Principal died._

_Wendy: I would like to point out a few things. Why would Butters go to a gun store? And what would he want with Jimbo and Ned? What would Butters want with Red? And what would Butters want with Nathan?_

_Heidi: They have done bad things you know?_

_Wendy: So? It doesn't mean they're awful people._

_Heidi: I am telling you Butters is the one who's doing it!_

_Nelly punches Heidi._

_Heidi: Ow! You bitch!_

_Nelly: Don't say that my Butters was the one who's committing those murders._

_Heidi: I'll prove it!_

_Cartman: Yoink!_

_Cartman takes Heidi's tray._

_Later._

_Butters was hanging out with Nelly on the swing set but little did they know Heidi was watching them._

_The hallway._

_Butters was at his locker retrieving some stuff whilst Heidi watched on._

_Later._

_At the end of school._

_Heidi watched Butters and Nelly saying goodbye to each other._

_Heidi followed Butters to a game store buying something._

_Heidi poked her head around the corner watching Butters._

_Voice: So you have a habit to?_

_Heidi looked to see who was talking to her and it was Scott Malkinson._

_Scott: I usually go and see what people are buying for my birthday._

_Heidi: I wondered why you weren't surprised on your birthday last year._

_Later._

_Heidi followed Butters to the abandoned warehouse._

_Heidi was about to enter until she stepped on something._

_Heidi picked up the thing that she stood on and it was a photo of PC Principal and the PC babies._

_Heidi pokes her head through the door._

_Heidi enters the warehouse and closes the door._

_Heidi continues to wonder through the warehouse._

_Heidi stops in her tracks. Heidi stares at the weapons hung out on the wall. She notices an operating table with blood on it._

_Heidi: Oh my God!_

_She notices a picture frame that had Nelly._

_Heidi: I knew it!_

_Suddenly Heidi was knocked out._

_Later._

_Heidi woke up in the hospital._

_Heidi: Ow my head._

_Kyle: Heidi are you ok?_

_Heidi: I feel dizzy. What happened?_

_Kyle: You were knocked out beside the school. According to the doctors that hit on the head was so hard that you might be suffering amnesia. Is there anything you remember?_

_Heidi: The last thing I remember was accidentally seeing Scott Malkinson naked._

_Kyle: Aww! Gross!_

_Heidi: I know!_

_Tegridy Farms._

_Randy was on the couch playing Red Dead Redemption 2._

_In the game Randy is playing Arthur holding a cow at gunpoint._

_Outside the game Randy just stared at the cow with guilt._

_Randy: Hey Shelly! Get your Dad a beer!_

_No answer._

_Randy: Shelly? Shelly?_

_Randy goes upstairs to Shelley's room._

_Randy opens the door to find Shelly dead with her braces in her neck._

_Randy: Oh my God!_

_Suddenly a gun clicking was heard._

_Randy turned around to see Butters with a gun._

_Randy puts his hand in the air._

_Randy: Oh. You're Stan's little friend right?_

_Butters: Yeah._

_Randy: Why are you holding a gun at me?_

_Butters: Because of the things you did. You murdered innocent cows and Winnie The Pooh._

_Randy: What are you doing with a gun? You do realise that it will make a noise?_

_Butters: Which is why this is a silencer?_

_Butters shoots Randy in the head._

_Butters: And now Stan._

_Stan ran out of his room and attacked Butters._

_Stan: No!_

_Butters: Oh. I guess you heard us?_

_Stan: Yeah. You're the killer!_

_Butters: Yeah._

_Stan: Why me? Why do you wanna murder me?_

_Butters: Because you've done some bad things. I am murdering people who have committed crimes._

_Stan: What do you mean?_

_Butters: I have a large list. You committed indecent exposure in San Diego and you got away with it._

_Stan: I was stupid.  
_

_Butters: Still a crime. Goodbye Stan._

_Stan tackled Butters and grabbed the gun._

_Stan held the gun at Butters' head._

_Stan: This is for my uncle._

_Suddenly Stan felt a sharp pain in his stomach._

_And that was because he was stabbed in the stomach._

_Butters: There we are Stan. Soon you will be de-_

_Suddenly Butters was shot in the head._

_After killing Butters, Stan collapsed and succumbed to his wounds._

_Butters (Narrating): Pretty poetic ain't it? My last victim was the one who finally ended my reign of terror. Although when I got to Hell I didn't get a satisfying greeting._

_Hell._

_Butters makes it to Hell and gets greeted by his parents._

_Stephen: There you are mister._

_Butters: Uh oh!_

_Stephen: Do you think it is acceptable killing us?_

_Butters: Um..._

_Stephen: Well we're glad you're here Butters. You are grounded!_

Butters: The end.

Token: I gotta say your story kind of made serial killers cool.

Cartman: Alright guys! Me next!

**World War B (Story 3).**

_Cartman was walking down the street until he came across a massive traffic jam._

_Cartman: What the hell is going on?_

_Suddenly he saw a white guy running._

_Guy: Run!_

_Cartman: What's his problem?_

_Stan ran to Cartman._

_Stan: Cartman!_

_Cartman: What is it Stan?!_

_Stan: You were right about them!_

_Cartman: Who?_

_Stan: The blacks! They've gone rabid!_

_Cartman: Oh crap I was-_

Token: Stop!

Cartman: What?

Token: Your story is insensitive to black people.

Cartman: What are you gonna do? Make black people scary?

Token: Maybe.

**Get In (Story 4).**

_Token was walking with his girlfriend Wendy._

Nichole: Token!

Token: What?

Nichole: Why are you making Wendy your girlfriend in this story?

Token: What? It's part of the story.

Wendy: I don't know Token, it does seem kind of awkward. Could you change it?

Token: Fine.

_Token was walking with his girlfriend Bebe._

Nichole: Why can't it be me?

Token: I'm gonna get to it.

_Bebe: I'm so excited to meet your family._

_Token: I know Bebe._

_Token and Bebe enter the mansion._

_Token's parents greet her._

_Steve: You must be Bebe._

_Linda: Token's told us so much about you._

_Bebe: So I've heard._

_Steve: Since you're gonna be staying with us our butler Geoffrey will escort you to your room._

_Geoffrey: Right this way madam._

_Bebe follows Geoffrey._

_Bebe: Thank you for escorting me._

_Geoffrey: You weren't the only girl I've escorted._

_Bebe: Oh. Disgusting._

_Geoffrey: Not as disgusting as what the Blacks do in the basement. Trust me it's worse._

_Bebe enters her room._

_Geoffrey: Sorry if it's a little boring, but there is WiFi in here. Just how you millennials like it._

_Bebe: You know us so well._

_Geoffrey: Trust me Mrs Black knows more._

_Bebe: What?_

_Geoffrey: Nothing. Enjoy your stay._

_Creepy ominous music plays._

_Bebe: Do you hear that music?_

_Geoffrey: Sorry that's my phone._

_Geoffrey answers his phone._

_Geoffrey: Master?_

_Later that night._

_Bebe was sleeping._

_Bebe suddenly woke up and went downstairs._

_She went downstairs to see Linda sitting by the fireplace._

_Linda: Can't sleep too, huh?_

_Bebe: I guess._

_Linda: You know besides being a chemist, I've been practicing hypnotherapy._

_Bebe: Oh._

_Linda: Is it alright if I try with you?_

_Bebe: Be my guest._

_Linda: Take a seat._

_Bebe sits down._

_Linda starts using the pocket watch._

_Linda: Do you have any addictions?_

_Bebe: I have an addiction to my phone._

_Linda: Do you have any regrets Bebe?_

_Bebe: My biggest regrets would probably have to be, allowing guys to drool all over me when I grew boobs and accidentally murdering a rabbit._

_Bebe starts tearing up._

_Bebe: I was riding my bike and than I accidentally ran over a rabbit. I didn't see it coming it just popped out of nowhere. I didn't realise it until the next day that the rabbit belonged to Pete Mullen. I wanted to tell him but I just couldn't. I felt so guilty._

_Linda: You ever feel like you could tell him the truth?_

_Bebe: Sometimes._

_Linda: I see. You wish you could escape the Darken Place? Or do you wish for yourself to fall deeper?_

_All of a sudden Bebe starts to fall into a deep dark black pit._

_As Bebe continued falling she screams._

_Voice: Hey._

_Bebe looks to her left and sees Randy._

_Randy: So you signed up for Mrs Blacks' hypnotherapy as well? Pretty trippy._

_Bebe wakes up._

_Bebe: Thank God a dream._

_Bebe was about to grab her phone until she stopped herself._

_Bebe: Strange._

_Token walks in._

_Token: Hey Bebe._

_Bebe: Hey Token. I just had a strange dream last night._

_Token: Shoot._

_Bebe: I had a dream where I couldn't sleep and I went downstairs to see your Mom and she used her hypnotherapy on me and I fell down some deep dark black pit._

_Token: Oh. That sounds a little Jordan Peele-ish._

_Bebe: Yeah._

_Token: Well come on we're having a family get together along with some other rich black people._

_Bebe: Ok just let me grab my-_

_Bebe was about to grab her phone._

_Bebe: Actually I'll not._

_Token: Ok. I'll see you downstairs._

_Bebe was about to exit the room._

_Bebe: Nope._

_Bebe goes back to grab her phone._

_Bebe: Might need it just in case._

_Bebe and Token go outside to meet the other rich people._

_Token: Everyone this is my girlfriend Bebe Stevens._

_Bebe: Hi._

_Everyone: Hi Bebe._

_Bebe walks around the garden whilst holding a glass of orange juice._

_Token: Bebe, I want you to meet Will Smith._

_Bebe: Oh my God! I loved Gemini Man. I don't understand why it bombed._

_Will Smith: Thank you. Anyway this is my wife Jada, my son from my first marriage Trey, my daughter Willow and my adoptive white son Carlton._

_Bebe: What happened to Jaden?_

_Will Smith: Oh. We disown him._

_Carlton held out his hand for Bebe to shake._

_Carlton: Nice to meet you Bebe._

_Bebe started to shake Carlton's hand._

_But when Bebe was shaking Carlton's hand she realised it was very sweaty._

_Carlton: Sorry I'm really sweaty._

_Carlton starts twitching and blinks wildly._

_Bebe looks at her hand it was wet and sticky._

_Bebe: That's ok._

_Token: Well nice seeing you again Mr Smith, I'm gonna say hello to Snoop Dogg._

_Bebe: I'll join you, I gotta call Wendy._

_Token: Oh ok._

_Bebe calls Wendy._

_Wendy: Hello?_

_Bebe: Hey Wendy._

_Wendy: Oh hey Bebe, how's it going at Token's?_

_Bebe: It's fine. Will Smith's adoptive son is a little weird._

_Wendy: What's weird about him?_

_Bebe: I mean he twitches worse than Tweek and blinks quite wildly._

_Wendy: Maybe he has a disorder._

_Bebe: Maybe, but he's quite cute._

_Wendy: Really?_

_Bebe: Yeah. Maybe I could set him up with Red, she's been looking for a new boyfriend._

_Bebe puts her phone on camera mode._

_Bebe approaches Carlton._

_Bebe: Hey Carlton._

_Carlton stares at Bebe._

_Bebe: Smile._

_Will Smith: No!_

_Bebe takes a picture._

_Carlton stares at Bebe and starts to have a nose bleed._

_Bebe: You ok?_

_Carlton: Get out!_

_Bebe: Trey?_

_Carlton grabs Bebe and starts to shake her._

_Carlton: Get out! Get out! Get out! And when you get out please find me a girlfriend! And tell Bill Maher to stop being an asshole!_

_Bebe: Huh? What's going on with him?_

_Will grabs Carlton._

_Will Smith: I'm sorry. He's having an epileptic seizure._

_Will and Carlton go to the car._

_Bebe: What the hell was that?_

_Later._

_Bebe was reading a book._

_Bebe: I seriously don't know why I don't want to read a book on Apple Books._

_Bebe shrugs it off._

_Bebe's phone starts ringing._

_Bebe: Hello?_

_Wendy: Hi Bebe. I was looking at that picture of Carlton you sent me._

_Bebe: Yeah. Is there something wrong with him?_

_Wendy: No. It's just Carlton just has an uncanny resemblance to a boy who was missing._

_Bebe: Huh?_

_Wendy: His name was Carl Gilmore he's been missing for four months. He just disappeared at a roller rink._

_Bebe: Oh my God!_

_Wendy: I think there's something suspicious about this family, I think you need to get out._

_Bebe: Oh I'm on it!_

_Bebe starts packing her things._

_As she was packing her things, she suddenly notices a pile of photos._

_Bebe looks through the pile._

_She sees Token with pictures of white girls and white boys and also an elephant._

_Bebe: What the hell?_

_Token: Hey Bebe. Where are you going?_

_Bebe: I'm going home._

_Token: We were just gonna have dinner._

_Bebe: I'm sorry Token._

_Bebe pushes Token out of her way._

_Bebe was walking downstairs until Steve and Linda blocked her._

_Bebe: Get out of my way._

_Steve: No. No. No. Please stay._

_Bebe: I'd love to._

_Bebe pushed Steve and Linda out of her way._

_Bebe: But I-_

_Suddenly Geoffrey grabs Bebe._

_Bebe: Let me go! Let me-_

_Linda: Sleep._

_Linda starts using her pocket watch to hypnotise Bebe._

_Linda: Sleep. Sleep._

_Bebe falls asleep._

_Linda: Good girl._

_Randy: Hey Linda, are we gonna continue with my hypnotherapy?_

_Later._

_Bebe wakes up strapped to a chair._

_Steve: You really had to leave?_

_Bebe: I see what's going on, you're hypnotising me so you can transplant your brain into my body so you can live forever._

_Steve: Shh. Do you wanna get sued? No. Please watch this video presentation._

_The video starts._

_Presenter: Hi I'm Sydney Poitier, Actor and Director. In the early days you white folk used us black folk as slaves. But instead of having grown ups as slaves we decided to have children because we wanna be fucked up. We do this by hypnotising the white folk and that's about it. But where does the conscious go? The conscious of a white person stays somewhere special named "The Darken Place". And if somebody uses this idea for a movie than I will come find this person and sue him or her. The Darken Place is where the conscious is active but powerless to escape, unless with bright flashing lights so we try our best to keep you away from cameras, movies with flashing images and nightclubs. So that's my presentation. I hope you enjoyed this presentation before your time in The Darken Place begins._

_The video ends._

_Linda sits down in front of Bebe._

_Linda: Are you ready?_

_Linda takes the pocket watch out of her pocket and starts swinging it._

_Linda: You will be our slave, you will fall into The Darken Place for the rest of your-_

_Bebe unstraps herself, closes her eyes and puts her fingers in her ears and starts repeating "La La La La la La"._

_Linda: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!_

_Bebe opens her eyes and removes her fingers from her ears._

_Bebe: I hope you're done._

_Linda tries to attack Bebe._

_Bebe grabs the pocket watch and starts to choke Linda with it._

_After minutes of strangling Linda, Linda finally kicks it._

_Bebe: Fuck!_

_Bebe grabs a pistol._

_Steve enters the room._

_Steve: Linda are you-Oh my God!_

_Steve sees Linda's lifeless body._

_Steve: Linda!_

_Bebe comes out of the corner and shoots Steve in the head._

_Bebe: Token! Geoffrey!_

_Token comes downstairs holding his hands up._

_Token: Bebe! Bebe! Please, show some mercy!_

_Bebe: Why should I?_

_Token: Because you used the gun that only had one bullet._

_Bebe: Wait, the gun has one bullet?_

_Token: Yeah._

_Bebe: I used it to kill your Dad._

_Token: You bitch!_

_Suddenly Token's head was blown off._

_And it was by Geoffrey._

_Bebe: Geoffrey?_

_Geoffrey: I tried to warn you about them in a subtle manner._

_Bebe: Why couldn't you just tell me in a straight forward manner?_

_Geoffrey: Plot holes are for comment sections only. I'm sorry Miss Stevens, but I cannot live with the guilt of killing a child._

_Geoffrey shoots himself in the chin._

_Bebe: What the fuck was that?!_

Token: The end.

Butters: Token...what...the fudge...was that? Wendy's story was scarier.

Wendy: To be honest Butters, yours was scarier.

Butters: Thank you Wendy. What about you Eric?

Cartman: Here's my stop.

Cartman runs off the bus.

Butters: This isn't his house.


End file.
